


Never Trust Pumpkins from Arkanis

by Lisalicious



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Attack of the Killer Arkanis Pumpkins, Kylo has the best intentions, M/M, Massage Oils, allergic reactions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 03:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12645024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisalicious/pseuds/Lisalicious
Summary: Based of this Tumblr post from Confessions-of-an-ex-Jedi:Confession:I bought pumpkin candles because they reminded me of Hux. At no point did he inform me he was allergic to pumpkin. I now have a sore jaw where Hux smack me in the face while I carried him and he has a swollen face in the medbay





	Never Trust Pumpkins from Arkanis

Kylo wanted to surprise Hux with a grand, romantic gesture that would perhaps lead to a night of ~~fucking each other’s brains out~~...er...passion. (It had been six standard weeks...not that Kylo was counting.) So he planned out a nice dinner to be delivered by the kitchens, he procured scented salts for a bath, and he smuggled in some massage oil candles in various scents including a few fruit and spice mixtures from Arkanis. The Knight really hoped it would all help Hux relax and get him in the mood.

And to Kylo’s surprise everything went remarkably well considering the frame of mind Hux was in when he returned home from his shift. The knight had gone all out in setting the scene with lowered lights and romantic candlelight. It took some suave convincing to get the datapads out of his General’s hands, as well as guiding him to the table and into his chair while he argued about needing to work and that he would order something or other from the cafeteria when he had a minute. Kylo had expected that which was why he made sure the chef prepared Hux’s favorite meal (and it didn’t hurt that he had brought back a few casks of the General’s favorite wine on his last mission.) 

Once the first few bites of the meal and a glass of wine had been ingested, Hux relaxed a bit, mentioning that he could always get back to work after dinner. By the time dessert and another two or three more glasses of wine were over the General was flushed, he had a firm grip on the Knight’s hand, and a soft, thankful look in his eyes. 

Before he had a chance to protest or try to get back to one of his datapads Kylo swept him up in his arms. Hux squawked in protest, but he could feel the man was quite pleased, especially when he saw the bath that had been prepared for him.

“You stay in there and just relax,” Kylo purred softly. “I have to go set up what I have planned next. I’ll come back when everything is ready, but you can stay in there as long as you want.”

“You won’t join me?” Hux pouted slightly. “Well, I suppose I shall have to suffer alone in this large, lonely bathtub.”

“You’ll understand and thank me later.”

Hux crossed his arms across his chest and huffed dramatically, but thanks to the Force Kylo knew the General wasn’t really that angry. Things were definitely looking good in the ~~fucking each other’s brains out~~...er...passion department.

Kylo walked into the bedroom from the ‘fresher and into the closet for the collection of massage oil candles he’d hidden. He sat down on the bed for a minute and pulled out every candle to smell test them and decide which one or ones he and Hux would both enjoy the most. He settled on two; one that reminded him very much of how the General smelled when he got out of the fresher in the morning, and one that smelled delicious like a harvest dessert which was born of some large orange fruit that only grew on Arkanis. The scents even blended well together, and left Kylo hoping he would be able to finish the massage before he jumped the other man and ~~fucked his brains out~~...er...made passionate love to him.

He went back to the refesher after lighting the candles and just watched Hux as he bathed. He knew the General was putting on a bit of a show for him, and he wasn’t going to complain about it. Kylo adored Hux’s lean lines and long limbs and they were being shown off beautifully and begging to be touched. 

Just as soon as Hux was out of the water and dry.

Which he was standing up, and Kylo was there with a towel to wrap around him. He helped his General out of the bath and the man purred at him.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but you are absolutely amazing Kylo,” he murmured.

“I’m not, and you always deserve this, General.”

“I assure you, Kylo, you are absolutely amazing! And as your General, I command you to accept that!”

“Yes, sir!” Kylo conceded as he swept the now dry Hux back up into his arms to carry him to the bedroom.

As Kylo set him down on the bed, Hux propped himself up against the pillows and started pulling on the light clothing the Knight had been wearing all evening, but he backed out of the General’s reach.

“Not yet,” he hushed at Hux’s noise of disapproval. “Roll over, I have one more surprise for you.”

Hux looked ready to argue as he fake glared at Kylo, but he rolled over as the Knight requested. Kylo grinned and reached for the first candle container.

“This might sting for a second,” he warned as he tipped the one that reminded him of Hux after he showered over the man’s back. “But let me work it in before you run away.”

Hux hissed at the sudden burn of the hot oil hitting the skin on his back, but Kylo had his hands on him almost at once. He spread the oil out across his suddenly tense back and began working his finger into the muscles. Hux sighed and he started to relax under the Knight’s strong, skilled hands. Every so often Kylo would add a bit more oil to the man’s back, and the General’s breath would hitch before the hot sting dulled again. 

Until the other scent started to mingle with the one the Knight had started with...Kylo changed to the second candle, and the scents did mingle pleasantly together, but Hux started tensing and breathing more harshly and not relaxing again.

“ _Ren, please!_ ” he gasped harshly. “ _Please! Wait until the oil cools before you add more_.”

“I did.”

“ _IT...IT...IT BURNS!! STOP!!!_ ”

Kylo stopped rubbing the oil in, but left his hands gently setting on Hux’s skin. That’s when he realized the man was trembling, and not from arousal like he initially thought. He also realized that the longer he left his hands resting on the General’s back the more heated the skin felt, again not simply from arousal.

“Lights one hundred percent!” he yelled. As soon as his eyes adjusted he gasped at the sight of Hux’s back and quickly pulled his hands away. “OH FUCK, HUX!!”

The man’s back was inflamed and the skin was puffing and swelling painfully. What was worse is the irritation wasn’t restricted to his back. Kylo had been extremely thorough with his massage and had purposely included both ass cheeks, the crease between, and an occasional tease to the pucker that had been the Knight’s end goal.

And right up until Kylo had changed to the second scented massage oil candle he had been receiving incredibly positive feedback.

“Wh-what d-d-did you d-d-do to my b-back, Ren?” Hux stuttered out.

“I... I’m not sure. They were just massage oil candles; I ordered a case featuring scents from Arkanis. I thought you would like it.”

“Ren... what scents did you use?” Hux managed to sound horrified as well as in immense amounts of pain.

“I, um...” he lifted up both candles. “This one is Stormy Shores, I thought it smelled like you... And this one is... uh, Harvest Pumpkin. I thought the scents compli-”

“REN, YOU IMBECILE!! I AM ALLERGIC TO ARKANIS PUMPKIN!! SEVERELY!”

“FUCK! YOU ARE?”

“OF COURSE I AM,” he seethed as much as his pain would allow. He pushed himself up with one hand, turned awkwardly to Kylo, doing his best not to settle on his ass or back, and punched the Knight in the jaw with as much strength as he could muster (which was surprisingly a lot considering the state he was in.) “AND I KNOW YOU KNEW THAT! I MEAN I HAVE MENTIONED IT AT LEAST TWICE TO YOU!”

Kylo grunted in pain and lifted his hand to cradle his now sore jaw.

“Twice in the past three years we’ve been together? And you expected me to remember that?”

“You are allergic to Sting Insects from Danos V, Yavineese Melons, and can only drink blue space milk because you are allergic to all other space dairies. You told me before the first time I cooked for you.”

“Oh...” Kylo didn’t know what exactly to say to that. He knew Hux and he cared so much about him, but he’d honestly forgotten about the Arkanis Pumpkin allergy. 

Hux slumped back down onto his front and groaned in pain.

“We should probably get you to the medical bay,” Kylo sighed. “I don’t think a med-droid would be capable of handling this alone. You're probably going to need to soak in bacta.”

“You... You want me to leave these rooms... in this state? I don’t think I can actually wear clothes right now, Ren!”

Kylo grimaced. This was not how this night was supposed to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Confessions-of-an-ex-Jedi is a great blog. You should totally check it out: https://confessions-of-an-ex-jedi.tumblr.com/
> 
> I am also on tumbler here if you want to check me out, too: https://delisalicious.tumblr.com/


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